Barter Like You Mean It
by Incidental Vegan Cannibal
Summary: Ellie runs into David and James without a stag (or anything else) to trade for Joel's medicine. David, compassionate guy that he is, gives it to her for free. All she has to do is take off her blue jeans and pretend to like him for a few minutes. Ellie/David, anal, slightly dubious consent.


"Therein lies the power of the sociopath, the student of human nature who lacks all humanity. He knows sex better than any mere mortal man, because he uses it to acquire complete and total power over his quarry–his victim." -_Five Reasons Sociopaths Are So Good in Bed._

* * *

Ellie forgot all about keeping her back to the wall until she heard a gun cocking right behind her ear.

"Drop your bow on the ground and then put your hands in the air."

"Shit," Ellie said under her breath, doing as the voice told her.

"'Atta girl. Now, I'm gonna check you for weapons. Just stand real still. My friend here has his gun pointed right at your head."

Something hard and cold nudged the back of her head.

"Okay, I believe you! Jesus."

"Give her some room, James. No need to scare her. She's just a kid."

Gentle hands patted down Ellie's sides, then her back, then between her legs. They confiscated the knife from her back pocket and the pistol from her waistband.

"You shouldn't be carrying your gun like that," the voice chided her. "You could shoot yourself by accident."

"It's empty."

"Still."

"Whatever. Can I turn around now?"

"Sure, just do it nice and easy."

She found herself glaring up at two men, one around thirty and the other closer to fifty. The younger one had a few hints of reddish hair peeking out from under his hat. The older had a friendly, wrinkled face and greying hair and whiskers.

"My name's David," said the older man. "This is James. What's your name?"

"Why do you want to know?" Ellie demanded.

"Just trying to be friendly," David said.

"Yeah, because pointing guns at unarmed people is super friendly," Ellie said. "I feel totally welcome."

David gestured, and James grudgingly lowered his gun.

"We're out looking for food," David said. "Don't suppose you have any?"

"No, I'm looking for the same thing," she said.

"Well, maybe we can trade for something else," David said. "What do you need? Shoes? Clothes? Ammo?"

"M-medicine!" Ellie blurted out. "Do you have any antibiotics?"

David glanced at James. "Run back to the camp and get two bottles of penicillin and a syringe."

"But David, the others said after last time-"

"I know," David said. "Let me worry about it."

James gave his friend a disapproving look, but he left anyway.

David stretched to put Ellie's weapons on top of the refrigerator. Fucker. She'd have to climb on the counter to get them back, unless he returned them.

"Now," David said, "We were discussing a trade. What do you have?"

Ellie dumped out her backpack. "Okay, I have a twenty-year-old energy bar and this robot toy that turns into a car."

"Well, those are both mighty tempting," David said. "Not sure they're worth the medicine, though."

"I don't have anything else to trade," she said. "Unless you want a broken Walkman, a letter from my dead mom, or a picture of people you don't know. I've got nothing."

"Sure you do," David said.

"Well, I can't give you my weapons," Ellie said. "I'll starve to death or get eaten."

"It doesn't have to be a material trade." David pushed her bangs behind her ear. "A cute girl like you could get anything she wanted from a lonely man."

"Bullshit," Ellie said. "No one ever gives me anything for free, unless they don't exactly know they're giving it to me."

"I wasn't talking about charity," David said. "I was talking about you profiting off your God-given assets."

"My God-given-" She couldn't help making a face when she realized what he was talking about. "Ew, no way! I'm not fucking you! Gross!"

"Thanks a lot," David said dryly.

"No offense, you're just way too old, and I'm not into guys."

"I see. Well, I'm sure your sick friend will understand," David said. "No one likes finding out they're not worth twenty minutes of someone's time, but I'm sure your friend will live. Or maybe not, I guess, but at least it won't be the disappointment that kills them."

"Okay, asshole, when you put it like that..." Ellie hesitated. "What kind of things would I have to do?"

"I'm flexible," David said. "In fact, why don't you tell me what you want to do? That'll make it even better."

Ellie swallowed. "Can I just use my hand?"

"You can start with your hand."

"What about my mouth?"

"Same."

"So to get the medicine, I have to risk getting knocked up?" Ellie huffed. "How do I know you don't have any weird diseases?"

"You'll just have to take my word for it, I guess."

"And how do I know you even have the medicine?"

David shrugged. "I guess we could sit here waiting for James to get back, but he'll want in on the action if you do that."

"Oh. Great."

"Besides, what condition is your friend in? Can they afford to waste that much time?"

"Fine," Ellie sighed. "Will you pull out if I let you fuck me?"

"I'll try."

Not good enough.

Ellie took a deep breath. "What about fucking me in the ass? Is that enough to get the medicine?"

David tilted his head to the side, eyeing her like she'd just offered him a crate full of fresh bacon. "I'd say that's worth the medicine and then some."

"So would that include pistol ammo? Maybe that rifle of yours?"

"Pistol ammo, sure. The rifle, maybe. Depends on how good the sex is."

"Okay, deal." Ellie unbuttoned her jeans. "What makes sex good, though?"

"Enthusiasm," David said. "Convince me you're having a good time."

"Great," Ellie said. "I'll see what I can do."

"Why don't we build a fire before we start?" David suggested. "I happen to know this house has a nice room upstairs with a fireplace. The windows are completely boarded up. No draft."

Ellie was reluctant to leave her weapons in the kitchen, but a fire did sound awesome. She let David hold her hand on the way upstairs, since he seemed to know his way around. It was dark, but it was a lot less cold. She sat on the creaky old sofa while David created a fire.

"So how did you know the fireplace was here?" she asked.

"This place is good for resting while hunting," David said. "Most of the houses in this subdivision are. They're pretty easy to fortify and check for infected. Besides, sometimes outsiders stop in with neat things to trade."

"Oh."

David chuckled. "They usually trade food and the like. I don't usually solicit sex from pretty little girls here, if that's what you're thinking."

"That never actually crossed my mind, but thanks." Ellie fidgeted. "What did your friend mean earlier? About the others not liking you doing this, or something?"

"Oh, that," David said. "I'm a little too nice, I guess. I get taken advantage of easily. I got my heartbroken by a pretty girl who robbed me blind not too long ago."

"That sucks," Ellie said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm mostly over her," David said, giving her a shy smile.

Ellie was as flattered as she was unsettled.

When the room was finally flickering from the orange glow, David sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"I guess," she said.

"Don't be scared." He pet her hair. "I won't hurt you."

"I'm not scared," Ellie fibbed. "I've done this, like, a hundred times."

"Good," David said. "Maybe you can teach me something. So what's wrong, then?"

"I just don't know you very well," Ellie said. "You're about to stick your dick inside me, and I don't even know your favorite color or author or animal or anything. It's weird."

David smiled. "My favorite color is blue, my favorite animal is the wolf, and my favorite author is Nabokov."

"Never heard of him," Ellie said.

"He wrote a lot of classics. How about you? What are your favorites?"

"My favorite color is green, my favorite animal is dogs, and my favorite author is... oh, geez. That's a harder question than I thought. I love too many books."

"There's nothing more attractive than a girl who likes books." David cupped either side of her face and leaned down to kiss her.

His breath smelled like old dish rags and made her want to gag, but his lips quickly moved to her cheek, then her neck, then her shoulder. He took his jacket off, and then he stripped hers off, hanging both of them on the corner of the sofa. He started to peel her shirt up her ribs, but she stopped him.

"I want to keep my shirt on, if that's okay."

"That's fine," he said. "I want you to be comfortable. Just take off your jeans."

"Yeah, sure." After all, she didn't have any sprouting bite scars on her legs. She stood up and shoved her stained jeans down her legs, kicking off her shoes so she cold step out of the pile of denim. "Should I take off my socks?"

"No reason to," David said. "I don't want your little feet to get cold."

"Thanks," she said.

He shook her jeans out and laid them in front of the fire. He unzipped his pants, but then he started rooting through his backpack before taking them off.

"What are you doing?" Ellie asked.

"Looking for something."

"Okay... what is it?"

"Aha." David took a small container out of his bag. "This."

"'Vegetable shortening'?" Ellie read. "Why?"

"It'll make sense in a minute," he said. "Here, sweetheart, kneel on the couch facing this way..."

She stood on her knees on the couch cushions, resting her cheek and arms on the back. David pressed himself against her back, rubbing his dick against her lower back. He planted noisy, sloppy kisses on her neck and reached under her shirt to grope her breasts.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Foreplay," he said.

"Shouldn't we hurry? What if your friend comes back?"

"The camp is miles from here. We have at least a couple of hours," David said. "Just relax. I want you as floppy as a noodle before I even think about going in."

Ellie relaxed her legs as much as possible. "Like this?"

"That's a good start."

He spread her cheeks apart, and she grabbed the back of the sofa, bracing herself for something super painful. Instead, he knelt behind her and licked her asshole.

"Whoa! Um, not to tell you how to do this whole butt sex thing, but doesn't that taste disgusting?"

"Not at all. It just tastes like you. And you taste delicious."

"Yeah, okay," Ellie said. "I guess it's your- ohh! Oh, wow..."

He did some kind of trick with his tongue that made her whole body go limp. Her knuckles unclenched, and her nails stopped shredding the old upholstery.

"You like that?" David asked, his breath hot on her skin.

"Fuck yeah," she said. "Oh, man. Fuck..."

He licked her so thoroughly that she totally forgot about the rest of the plan. And once he started using his fingers on her clit, she understood what he'd meant about making her as floppy as a noodle.

"Jesus, David," she finally sighed into the dusty fabric. "Holy shit..."

"I think you're ready," he said, patting her ass.

"Ready for what?"

She looked over her shoulder and found him scooping the shortening out of the can with his fingers. He stroked some onto his dick, which was sticking out of the front of his unzipped jeans, and then he smeared some onto Ellie's backside.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she demanded. "Are you a cannibal? Are you gonna eat your own dick?"

David laughed. "I'm trying to make it feel good for you. Get back to relaxing."

He massaged her asshole with his finger until she moaned, which he took as an invitation to wiggle on in.

"Fuck, hold on!" Ellie said, having a sudden revelation. "What if I shit on you?"

"You won't."

"But-"

"I've done this a few times," David assured her. "It hasn't happened yet."

Ellie wasn't comforted much, but his other hand found her clit again, and she stopped fussing. She didn't even mind when he stuck a second finger into her.

After several moments of him playing with her, she glanced over her shoulder. "Hey, I appreciate you being all gentle and shit, but aren't you getting bored?"

"How could I possibly be bored?" David asked.

Ellie shrugged. "I dunno. I figured you'd want to be putting more than just your fingers in my ass by now."

"When you're ready." He stroked his slick thumb over her clit, making her whine and shiver from pleasure. "Why, are you bored?"

"Does it sound like I'm bored?" she joked. "I'm just saying, if you promise to be this careful with your dick, you can go ahead and put it in now."

"If you insist." He straightened and stood right behind her. "Breathe in."

She inhaled deeply.

He grabbed onto her hip. "Now breathe out."

Ellie giggled nervously. "Jesus, what are you, the ass whisperer?"

"I figured you'd already know all these tricks," he said. "Didn't you say you've done this a hundred times?"

"I may or may not have been exaggerating."

She could hear his smirk, even though he wasn't saying anything.

"Oh, fuck you," she said. "Just stick it in."

"All right. Breathe in," he said. "And breathe out-"

The second half of her exhalation turned into a yelp, and her hand reflexively reached back to push him away.

"Fuck, ow, ow."

"I hear that's the worst part." David moved her hand. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, afraid to talk yet.

He reached around to rub her clit again, and that made everything a little better.

"When you're ready, you just move yourself back and forth," he said.

She nodded again, feeling all the blood rush to her face.

"Keep breathing nice and deep," he told her. "Don't do anything that hurts."

"Okay." She bit her lip and slowly rocked herself back against him.

He groaned, and she could feel him twitch inside her. She almost laughed. This whole thing was so fucking surreal. She kept leaning back until his open zipper scratched her ass cheeks, and she decided to park there until her asshole stopped stinging so bad. He used one hand to rub her back and the other keep teasing her clit, and Ellie stopped noticing the pain pretty quickly. She rocked forward with each inhale and backward with each exhale.

"Fuck," she whispered.

"Does it hurt?" David asked her.

"No, it's just intense. It feels really fucking weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"Good weird, I think."

"Mmm." He pressed his fingers into the grooves around her tailbone. "If you make those sexy little noises like you did when I was licking you, I won't last very long. If you really want that rifle, you could talk dirty for me."

"I don't know how," she admitted.

"Tell me what feels good right now."

"Your fingers," she said. "I like the way you're rubbing my clit. It's not too hard or too light. It feels really, really amazing."

"Is it making you wet?"

"Yeah," Ellie said. "I'm pretty wet."

"What else?"

"I like you fucking my ass." Saying it out loud sent excitement coursing through Ellie's body. "It feels so wrong, but in a good way. I was scared it would hurt, but you're really good at fucking me."

"Do you feel safe with me?"

"I guess," Ellie said, thinking. "Yeah, I do."

"I'm glad," he said. "I want you to feel nice and safe."

They rocked gently together for several minutes, their bodies in perfect sync. As Ellie adjusted to the sensation, she felt braver. Or maybe she just felt hornier.

"Fuck me a little faster," she ordered him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. And you can go deeper, too." Her whole body felt so hot and tingly that she couldn't stand him just sitting there. "You should get your money's worth, you know? Or your medicine's worth, whatever."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Jesus, stop being such a fucking pussy! I'm so turned on right now that I feel like I'm gonna explode. I want you to fuck my ass until I scream. Fuck me like you mean it."

He didn't reply to that, but he did start fucking her in earnest. He even grabbed her ponytail and yanked her head back, his fingers quickening over her clit at the same time.

"Fuck!" she gasped. "Oh fuck, fuck, yes!"

He took control of her body like the Cordyceps, overriding her brain and jerking her arms and legs against her will. She howled like a runner, unable to think about anything except how awesome every nerve in her body felt.

When it was over, she slumped onto the couch, unable to hold her head up anymore. David released her hair from his grasp, but he was still pounding away at her at full speed. She sucked air through her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut. With her endorphins slowly wearing off, pain and common sense were starting to exist again.

Jesus, what the fuck was Ellie even doing? She'd just fucked a total stranger before she'd even seen proof that he had the medicine. She was terrified that his friend was going to get back with more people instead of the promised antibiotics. She pressed her fingers against her eyeballs until she saw dark spots, trying unsuccessfully to stop the tears from coming out.

"Oh, lord," David sighed. He sagged on top of her, kissing her neck and ear and cheek while she squirmed. "That might have been the best sex I've ever had." He nibbled on her earlobe.

"Stop," she said, wincing at the waver in her voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping back. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm just... dizzy."

"It's gonna be all right. Lie down."

She rolled onto her side, staring at the back of the couch and pinching the bridge of her nose. David patted her arm.

"Let me clean you up." He poured a little water onto a clean rag and dabbed it on her asshole. The cool water instantly soothed the residual burning. He gently mopped up the grease and spunk and whatever else was back there.

"Better?" he asked.

Ellie shrugged.

"I'll give you some space," he offered, laying her warm jeans over her hip and then collapsing into a nearby chair.

Ellie managed to pull herself together in a few minutes. She ignored her soreness and sat up, sticking her socked feet through the legholes of her pants.

"You okay, kid?" David tucked his shirt into his jeans.

"Yeah," she said, hopping up and down to pull her jeans back up. "I'm fine. Sorry."

"Aside from the very end, it seemed like you enjoyed it a little more than you were expecting to," he remarked.

"Yeah, it was kind of awesome," Ellie said. "Thanks for being so cool about everything. It was actually my first time ever. I know it could have gone really badly with someone else."

"Well, it was an honor to deflower you," he said. "Glad you had a good time. I don't suppose you feel like telling me your name, now, do you?"

"Holy shit, I forgot to tell you my name?" Ellie smacked her forehead. "Sorry. I'm Ellie."

"Ellie," he repeated. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah," she said. "I probably should have introduced myself before we fucked."

"It's all right. Here." He handed her his rifle. "You earned it, Ellie."

"Cool, thanks!" She checked and found it fully loaded.

"It's got three rounds in it, and I've got another three with the pistol ammo. Is that enough?"

"Yeah," Ellie said. "Thanks. This'll help a lot."

"I have to ask," David said. "Who's taking care of you?"

"Myself," Ellie said, sticking her feet back into her shoes.

"You won't last long out there all alone," David warned. "I can protect you."

She zipped her jeans back up. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'll be okay."

"I hope so." He patted her on the back. "If you need anything else, James and I are out here hunting most days. Just whistle like this so we don't accidentally shoot you." He whistled like a bird.

Ellie imitated it a couple of times until it sounded just like his.

"Yeah, that's it," he said.

James walked in as Ellie and David were both buckling their belts.

"Shit," Ellie said. "Uh, we were just-"

"I don't want to know." James threw a small bag in her direction. "How old are you? Like, eleven?"

"Fuck you, dude, I'm-"

"Never mind," James said. "I don't actually care. Take your medicine and get out. I need to talk to David."

"Fine," Ellie said. "I'm going. Geez. You don't have to be an asshole. Bye, David."

"Goodbye, Ellie." He waved. "You make sure to get to shelter soon. Blizzard's on it's way."

"Got it," Ellie said. "See you around."

As she clomped down the stairs, she heard James yelling.

"You gave her your rifle, David? Look, I'm your friend, but the others aren't gonna understand. I'm just trying to look out for you."

Ellie climbed onto the kitchen counter to retrieve her weapons and then hurried back to Callus with her medicine and her new rifle.

The storm hit when she was halfway back to Joel. The winds were so strong she couldn't see anything and it felt like the icy gusts were trying to tear out her lungs. By the time she and Callus stumbled into the garage, the snow was already twice as high as it had been that morning.

"Brrh," Ellie said, covering Callus with a blanket. "Well, on the bright side, at least we won't have to worry about anyone tracking us here in this weather."

Callus snorted. Ellie patted his nose and went to check on Joel.

His face was a scary shade of gray. Ellie ran over to him and felt his neck for a pulse. When she couldn't find it, she pressed her head to his chest and held her breath, listening.

"No!" She slapped his face a few times. "Joel, come on! Wake up! Joel, goddammit!"

She pinched his nose and blew into his mouth. No one had ever actually taught her real CPR- the nurses had always taken over whenever someone coded. Ellie had a vague idea of how it worked, though. She knelt next to Joel, put her hands together, and started pumping his chest up and down.

"Come on, Joel! Please! You wouldn't believe what I did to get this medicine for you! It can't be for nothing!"

Joel didn't answer. When Ellie was too exhausted to perform CPR anymore, she threw her backpack in the corner with a scream.

"I'm sorry, Joel," she told his body, which was too stiff and heavy for her to move anywhere else. "I'm sorry. I should have gone out yesterday instead of trying to feed you that stupid broth. I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

She finally curled up to sleep on the cold, hard basement floor, too exhausted and angry at herself to retrieve her blanket or her backpack-slash-pillow.

The next morning, the blizzard had subsided, so Ellie rode Callus back to the old house David had found her in. She stopped on the driveway, realizing it was probably stupid to think he would be back again so soon. She sat on Callus, unsure whether to search it or not.

A friendly bird call spared her from spending too long deliberating. She answered with a whistle, and a minute later, David emerged from a house on the other side of the street, a new hunting rifle in hand. James, if he was around, stayed inside.

Despite her grief over Joel and the unsettling feeling that something was just a little bit off about David, Ellie felt a lot better when she saw him standing there waving.

"Hi there, Ellie," David greeted her. "How did the medicine work?"

"I came to bring it back," Ellie said, tossing him the bag. "My friend doesn't need it anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that," David said. "Did you ever find any food yesterday?"

Ellie shook her head.

"Well, why don't you join us today?" he asked. "Safety in numbers. Besides, now that you brought this medicine back unopened, I figure I owe you a couple of hot meals. A trade is a trade, after all. Sound fair?"

"Yeah," Ellie said. "That would be nice. Thanks."

David patted her leg. "Let's get to it, then. The others will be excited to meet you."


End file.
